So, you’ve been invited to be a Bridesmaid.. Congrats!
Now I will start off by saying not everyone wants to be a bridesmaid. And that’s ok. Its not everyones wish to be the ‘toilet support’ or bugrudginly wear a dress forced on them and in a completely unflattering colour, or in fact have to organise the ‘Hen Do’. But for the majority of us who cannot wait to celebrate our family and friends special day, the Hen Do is one of the most exciting (albeit stressful) times towards the wedding.
Lets face it, Hen Do’s are a minefield. But what’s the etiquette? Do we find ourselves subject to the unwritten rules of the Hen do? Where do we start. A big starting point comes from the amount of Bridesmaids. The trend of having more than 2/ 3 bridesmaids is becoming ever more popular, some Brides chosing up to 8/9 ladies to share their day. So who organises? If the beautiful bride hasn’t picked a maid of honour then how do we stop it becoming a scene from a mythological battle, each Bridesmaid clawing to organise, a bitter fight to the death to organise the greatest show on earth.
What is most important about this is the Bride. A celebration of her completing that final step to #wifeyforlifey in the best way possible. Celebrate HER, her loves, and celebrate with the people she loves.
Let’s break down that checklist and look at the Hen Do’s & Hen Don’ts…
Bridal Party- This can often get completely out of hand. With nine Bridesmaids comes, two mothers, sixteen aunts, fourteen cousins, six work mates, their best friends from nursery, and two girls you met in the toilets at the wine bar last week. When inviting and planning, think about who the Bride would want there. It may be the groom has 2 cousins but with a more intimate hen do can come a larger get together nearer to the wedding but do think of cost and pressure on those invited. Also, Hen do’s can also be a really nice way for Groomsmen’s partners to get to know the Bridal Party. We have all been there at a wedding where our partners may be Groomsman and we feel like a stranger in a room full of friends. I do find making friends with the barman or the caterer can be an asset to your evening though! So invite them! Even just the branch of an invite can sometimes be the step needed for them to feel a lot more at ease on the big day!
Location- Wherever this location may be, needs to be enjoyable and affordable for all involved. If there is an understanding from the very beginning that a smaller more expensive trip may be taken, then make it clear. But try not to outcast your attendees. Sometimes taking it back to basics with a girly sleepover, wine, movies and games can be as, if not more enjoyable than a trek to Ireland, £700 later and a missed flight…Leave that to the Stags!
Dress Code- Unless the Bride has stated she is keen for some sort of dress code, then best not attempt to drag the Mother of the Groom across Liverpool Docks in a Green Tutu, or dressed as a 60s hippie. Some dress codes can be great if all involved are willing to throw themselves into it. A simple one can always be a black & white theme. Bridal Party in Black and Bride in White! Simple, yet effective and leaves the Bride feeling that little bit more special!
Strippers- Thanks to the recent film Magic Mike (if you haven’t heard of it..google it )the demand of having a stripper is increasingly big..(pardon the pun) but not all brides are as keen. For a more introverted bride this could spell out their worst nightmare. I have also had my fair share of dodgy strippers for friends birthdays and hens. We once were more aghast at the fact the gentleman that turned up needed some ‘Daz’ to whiten up his incredibly Grey looking Tuxedo we weren’t a bit interested in the eventual ‘goings on’.
Through all the planning and excitement, essentially this event for your lovely Bride, and the reason she asked you is because she loves you and you know her inside and out. So use that to your advantage! Drop hints, gauge her interest. But most of all, make it on her terms. Have Fun Ladies!